Have you been feeling lately that the flames of romance you had in the past are now a dull ember? Or maybe have you noticed that you are so busy with everyday life, there hasn’t been time to invest in your partner or in your shared relationship goals? Maybe you’re not at a point of contention that requires couple’s therapy, but you could still benefit from a quick relationship check-in. All relationships take maintenance, and it is helpful to explore new ways to increase connection.
Relationships thrive when each partner feels heard, and there is space to continue making fun memories together. This blog will give ideas for some relationship goals you and your partner can strive towards as you practice closeness, intimacy, vulnerability, and creativity this fall.
1. Relationship Goal: Create an Autumn Bucket List
Making time for new and fun experiences can rekindle the connection with your significant other. You need space for play and enjoyment outside of the responsibilities of life as this can bring out fond qualities in one other.
Sit down with your partner and brainstorm a few activities to try this fall. Make your relationship goals official! Maybe you always wanted to visit a corn maze as a child and never got the chance, or your partner dreams of recreating the maple glaze cinnamon rolls their grandma used to make. Be willing to each try something that the other is excited about to build new memories together.
2. Relationship Goal: Start a Ritual of Reflection
The change of seasons can usher in a period of inner contemplation. Autumn traditionally is seen as the harvest time as well as preparing for winter. You can increase your sense of vulnerability and closeness by sharing reflections on the season together. Many people often feel like they know all of their partner’s thoughts, but you must remember that every person has a rich inner world.
This autumn, you could suggest reflecting on what you each have sown through the summer season and what you are preparing for in winter. This exercise changes the regular flow of conversations.
Here are some examples of fall reflection questions to add to your relationship goals checklist:
“How have you used your passion or creativity this year?”
“What are you proud of and what didn’t go how you hoped it would?”
“How have you worked towards balance and is there something you want to let go of?”
3. Relationship Goal: Take a Gratitude Walk
Sharing what you’re thankful for can happen on more days than just Thanksgiving! Practicing gratitude can help change your perspective about yourself, others, and the world. Make space to get moving together and enjoy the fall sights of changing colors and smells.
While walking, commit to sharing only what you are grateful for or what you are experiencing in the moment on the walk. You can share what you appreciate about one another and in life in general. When you return from the walk, see if your mood or body sensations have changed at all from the start of the walk.
4. Relationship Goal: Explore Nostalgia
Autumn can be a time of nostalgia for many. The weather and the scenery changes seem to commit fall experiences to memory. As a couple, it can be helpful to share enjoyable memories. Get cozy together or go to a favorite spot and recollect some favorite memories from past autumns (or other seasons, too!).
Nostalgia is a powerful tool to help remember that your relationship has been more than just this moment and can help bring in some positive feelings from the past. This could also be a time to share memories from other times in your history. Sharing with one another can help build the fire of closeness.
5. Relationship Goal: Practice Hygge Together
The word ‘Hygge’ comes from Danish culture and is the mood for coziness and contentment. For some couples, life can feel so fast-paced, there is no time to just 
be together. When the air begins to have a chill to it, the desire to pursue hygge grows.
Practicing this could be discussing what being cozy looks like for both of you and creating it. Maybe this looks like making a hot cup of tea, lighting the fire, and reading together on the couch. Take the time to slow down and spend quality time with one another. Bonus points if you can put the phones and other distractions away!
Is there one thing from this list of fall relationship goals that you want to try as you reconnect with your partner this upcoming season? Awakened Path provides couple’s therapy to help explore ways to build connection and communication in relationships. If you would like to learn more about Awakened Path’s telehealth services available throughout New Jersey, please reach out today!
Awakened Path Counseling proudly provides quality transpersonal and traditional psychotherapy, at their offices in Middlesex County, New Jersey, and online. Their experienced therapists specialize in serving children, teens and adults. The experienced clinicians at Awakened Path Counseling are passionate about their holistic approach to mental health, addressing your emotional, cognitive, physical, and spiritual needs.
